New Shoes? Yes, Please!

So I don't know about everyone else but I love LOVE love shoes. I rarely buy myself a new pair of shoes though. My current work out shoes are 5 years old and even then they weren't new..they were a garage sale purchase...For real.. I need to start working out..seriously..So I started thinking that maybe I would be motivated to work out if I had new shoes.. And it's working!! I bought these super cute shoes and I have absolutely no reason to wear them unless I am working out...and I want to wear them. Everybody has different motivations. I know that living a long healthy life should be motivation enough...but if that were true everyone would do it. Right? So my shoes may be a tiny thing in the big spectrum of things but to me they are the push I need to get off my tooshy and work out so I can live a long, healthy life.

Oh there you are...

Does life ever just get completely and utterly crazy for you? Of course it does..Right?! Well my life has been a roller-coaster of toddler living, new business building, wedding planning, going debt free, raising a 9 year old going on 16, and trying to make sure that I still have time to have the little moments with the man I love the most..

Somewhere in all that chaos I have lost myself..I mean you hear about these women who have just let themselves go and when you are on the outside looking in you are just thinking "Bless her heart". I bet I am getting a lot of "bless her heart"s these days. I haven't slept in a thousand years (ok maybe 2, but still) and I haven't even made a real attempt at reclaiming my body that was traumatized by pregnancy followed by heart failure, and I can't even remember when the last time was that I had a girls day.

Well....I'm back. After a week of no sleep (thank you toddler) I have had several mini breakdowns and realized that Heeelllooooo sister you are still in there! Time to get it together. Pull yourself together. Be the woman you want to be. Currently that woman may be trapped in a body that she doesn't recognize but that's ok. She's still there.

I started this blog about 5 years ago while I embarked on my weight loss journey. I lost 100 lbs...now 10 seems daunting..I feel like a lot of that success was due to the fact that I put myself out there. I told my story. I didn't hold anything back and 5,000 people read it. SO my goal here is to do that again, To replicate that success. Luckily I don't need to lose 100 lbs ..just like 70..and that is doable..I've done it. I will do it again, This time I have the amazing It Works products to help me on my journey but let's keep it real, a healthy diet and exercise are the only way to get it done. There is no magic pill..There IS a magic wrap, but that's not gonna lose 70 lbs..Just gonna make me look better when I do lose the weight and the skin starts looking all funky.

Oh joy..the toddler is now screaming...So until next time.

F stands for Fat...

All over you hear people talking about how it's ok to be plus sized, how you can still be beautiful and fun . I agree, you are still beautiful and fun...and fat. I am a fatty. I feel like Fat Amy in the movie Pitch Perfect gets this perfectly! She's funny, sassy, sweet, beautiful...and Fat. I gurantee you that every person you meet who is at least as fat as I am is just as tired of being fat as I am. Even if they won't admit it. And do you know who fat girls hate? Twig bitches. In my case it's not all twig bitches. It's just the ones who have never had to struggle a day in their life with true obesity and still smile smile smile during their workout and as they tell you "you can do it". One of these types of girls is on the dvd I use to work out..she giggles. GIGGLES during the workout. It drives me NUTS!! What are you giggling about?? I am in PAIN here!! I am a fat girl trying desperately to make my stomach stop jiggling when I brush my teeth and this little fitness girl is giggling. It fuels my hate fire... I may have to switch to a Jillian Michaels dvd. I bet she doesn't giggle. When I lose all this weight (and I will) I vow not to be the giggly twig when she works out. I will however give advice because I HAVE been there. I have been thin thin, medium thin, fat thin, just fat, overweight, pregnant, obese and back over the course of my lifetime. I have tried a gazillion fad diets. Some worked, some didn't. The age old "portion control" is the only one worth doing in my opinion. Eat what you want, in moderation and trying and make it healthy but don't go all NO CARB! NO MEAT! No bananas..wait..no one says that one do they? I have done a gazillion work outs. I have listened to a thousand trainers and their ideas. So far unless you are Bob Harper, Jillian Michaels, Tony Horton or my Love Tony it is going to go in one ear and out the other. Love yourself! But love yourself enough to take care of yourself too! Peace out and keep an eye out for my blogs. I don't sugar coat it!

The Cake is a Lie

 So as I continue on my weight loss journey I can't help but notice ALL the people claiming to be experts on weight loss. Be wary. Just because someone works out every day does not mean they are qualified to give you advice on losing weight. Sure, they can tell you what worked for them and you could try it, but I wouldn't encourage anyone to start a diet and fitness plan without consulting with an expert first. One of my favorite companies is Beachbody. The one flaw I see in Beachbody is that anybody can sign up to be a "Beachbody Coach". John Doe could be a Beachbody Coach and go on to social media and push people into doing a certain workout spouting "anyone can do it"..I have learned after having a heart condition that no, not anyone can do it. I can workout and I can use certain Beachbody DVD's but I can't do the intense ones yet because it's not safe..But the Beachbody Coach may not know that. More than anything I have found a lot of the coaches are just salesmen trying to push product on you. There are some really good ones out there though so don't be afraid to use one just find a good one!

I have also learned that I constantly get myself into the "The cake is a lie" state of mind. I don't see instant results and I start doubting that my hard work is doing anything. There must not be any pay off at the end. Also, not true. In order to safely lose weight it takes time. I know that. I just hate it! LOL I have been setting small goals and it keeps me going but I still have that little thing in my head that tells me I will be a marshmallow for the rest of my life.

So bottom line, be wary of fanatics, be wary of your inner crazy, and look for a support system not a salesman. I found that it was easier to be in a support group with other marshmallow carb lovers like myself. It was easier to know they were going through the same thing as myself.

Batter up...no..not the yummy batter...

I finally stepped up to the plate. May 1st I did a run through of Phase 1 and I am shocked to say that it wasn't that bad..I may be crying in the morning though. Wanna know what finally got me off my tush? Incentive! I have been following a strict budget the last few months and I decided to budget in a shopping trip for new clothes..June 1. Well, I do NOT want to be buying clothes in my current size so motivation has been born. The trick is doing the same thing tomorrow and the next day and the next until I stop feeling like a big pile of goo.

As for my diet...Eh. It could be better, but I figure one thing at a time. I have stopped drinking anything that isn't water, tea or my one coffee a day and perhaps one diet pepsi a weekend. I eat smaller portions of things and try really hard just to listen to my body. Listening to my body was what got me through today's workout. My heart raced a few times and I started to panic but I stopped and listened and as it turns out I was still breathing and not going into cardia arrest so I survived lol.

Goals...I has them

Day 2 of not working out....I had this huge plan to start working out on Monday...But those pesky excuses won over. So I made a plan to set my alarm for 5 am so I could get a 45 min work out in before work..Well it's 6:20 am and I am sitting here with my cup of coffee not working out again. I really wanted to work out this morning but my head said "No...stay in the warm covers..you've only slept 6 hours..." It takes 21 days to form a habit they say. I just wish it was day 21 already. At this pace I will be in my 21st day of NOT working out before I know it!  Maybe I need a little reminder of my goals to push me in the right direction.

Goal #1 To be able to not look like a white marshmallow peep at my wedding.

Goal #2 To be able to brush my teeth without seeing things jiggle.....

Goal #3 To be able to run and run a lot. Cardio is my best defense against zombies

Goal #4 To be able to look in the mirror and not make the "I hate my body" face

Goal #5 To prove them all wrong...

Goals established. Let's see if I can remember them this afternoon when I need to workout...

Help! I'm trapped in a fat suit!!

True story. I am now 7 months post partum and I'm pretty sure I am walking around looking like a marshmallow peep. I went to the cardiologist last week and my heart function is back to normal. Know what that means? That means I have to stop using the excuse that working out could literally kill me...literally. That's ok though because I have a ton of other excuses... Too tired, baby kept me up all night, can't work out and chase a crawling baby at the same time, I already put my pjs on..I don't wanna! I know, that's some impressive whining..Takes talent. When it's all said in done there is no excuse to be this obese.

Motivation? I am getting married in a year and I want to look fabulous. I have been watching Say Yes to the Dress and the big big girls just don't pull of the dresses well. If you are a big girl and that just offended you than you are in the wrong place. I do not sugar coat things. I accept the fact that I am overweight and I am going to do something about it. So six week challenge starts tomorrow. I signed up for the Slim in 6 challenge on facebook because I know that it works. Wish me luck! I'm sure I'll be back in a few days talking about how my legs hate me and want to cut themselves off my body before enduring another work out.