F stands for Fat...

All over you hear people talking about how it's ok to be plus sized, how you can still be beautiful and fun . I agree, you are still beautiful and fun...and fat. I am a fatty. I feel like Fat Amy in the movie Pitch Perfect gets this perfectly! She's funny, sassy, sweet, beautiful...and Fat. I gurantee you that every person you meet who is at least as fat as I am is just as tired of being fat as I am. Even if they won't admit it. And do you know who fat girls hate? Twig bitches. In my case it's not all twig bitches. It's just the ones who have never had to struggle a day in their life with true obesity and still smile smile smile during their workout and as they tell you "you can do it". One of these types of girls is on the dvd I use to work out..she giggles. GIGGLES during the workout. It drives me NUTS!! What are you giggling about?? I am in PAIN here!! I am a fat girl trying desperately to make my stomach stop jiggling when I brush my teeth and this little fitness girl is giggling. It fuels my hate fire... I may have to switch to a Jillian Michaels dvd. I bet she doesn't giggle. When I lose all this weight (and I will) I vow not to be the giggly twig when she works out. I will however give advice because I HAVE been there. I have been thin thin, medium thin, fat thin, just fat, overweight, pregnant, obese and back over the course of my lifetime. I have tried a gazillion fad diets. Some worked, some didn't. The age old "portion control" is the only one worth doing in my opinion. Eat what you want, in moderation and trying and make it healthy but don't go all NO CARB! NO MEAT! No bananas..wait..no one says that one do they? I have done a gazillion work outs. I have listened to a thousand trainers and their ideas. So far unless you are Bob Harper, Jillian Michaels, Tony Horton or my Love Tony it is going to go in one ear and out the other. Love yourself! But love yourself enough to take care of yourself too! Peace out and keep an eye out for my blogs. I don't sugar coat it!

The Cake is a Lie

 So as I continue on my weight loss journey I can't help but notice ALL the people claiming to be experts on weight loss. Be wary. Just because someone works out every day does not mean they are qualified to give you advice on losing weight. Sure, they can tell you what worked for them and you could try it, but I wouldn't encourage anyone to start a diet and fitness plan without consulting with an expert first. One of my favorite companies is Beachbody. The one flaw I see in Beachbody is that anybody can sign up to be a "Beachbody Coach". John Doe could be a Beachbody Coach and go on to social media and push people into doing a certain workout spouting "anyone can do it"..I have learned after having a heart condition that no, not anyone can do it. I can workout and I can use certain Beachbody DVD's but I can't do the intense ones yet because it's not safe..But the Beachbody Coach may not know that. More than anything I have found a lot of the coaches are just salesmen trying to push product on you. There are some really good ones out there though so don't be afraid to use one just find a good one!

I have also learned that I constantly get myself into the "The cake is a lie" state of mind. I don't see instant results and I start doubting that my hard work is doing anything. There must not be any pay off at the end. Also, not true. In order to safely lose weight it takes time. I know that. I just hate it! LOL I have been setting small goals and it keeps me going but I still have that little thing in my head that tells me I will be a marshmallow for the rest of my life.

So bottom line, be wary of fanatics, be wary of your inner crazy, and look for a support system not a salesman. I found that it was easier to be in a support group with other marshmallow carb lovers like myself. It was easier to know they were going through the same thing as myself.

Batter up...no..not the yummy batter...

I finally stepped up to the plate. May 1st I did a run through of Phase 1 and I am shocked to say that it wasn't that bad..I may be crying in the morning though. Wanna know what finally got me off my tush? Incentive! I have been following a strict budget the last few months and I decided to budget in a shopping trip for new clothes..June 1. Well, I do NOT want to be buying clothes in my current size so motivation has been born. The trick is doing the same thing tomorrow and the next day and the next until I stop feeling like a big pile of goo.

As for my diet...Eh. It could be better, but I figure one thing at a time. I have stopped drinking anything that isn't water, tea or my one coffee a day and perhaps one diet pepsi a weekend. I eat smaller portions of things and try really hard just to listen to my body. Listening to my body was what got me through today's workout. My heart raced a few times and I started to panic but I stopped and listened and as it turns out I was still breathing and not going into cardia arrest so I survived lol.