New Shoes? Yes, Please!

So I don't know about everyone else but I love LOVE love shoes. I rarely buy myself a new pair of shoes though. My current work out shoes are 5 years old and even then they weren't new..they were a garage sale purchase...For real.. I need to start working out..seriously..So I started thinking that maybe I would be motivated to work out if I had new shoes.. And it's working!! I bought these super cute shoes and I have absolutely no reason to wear them unless I am working out...and I want to wear them. Everybody has different motivations. I know that living a long healthy life should be motivation enough...but if that were true everyone would do it. Right? So my shoes may be a tiny thing in the big spectrum of things but to me they are the push I need to get off my tooshy and work out so I can live a long, healthy life.

Oh there you are...

Does life ever just get completely and utterly crazy for you? Of course it does..Right?! Well my life has been a roller-coaster of toddler living, new business building, wedding planning, going debt free, raising a 9 year old going on 16, and trying to make sure that I still have time to have the little moments with the man I love the most..

Somewhere in all that chaos I have lost myself..I mean you hear about these women who have just let themselves go and when you are on the outside looking in you are just thinking "Bless her heart". I bet I am getting a lot of "bless her heart"s these days. I haven't slept in a thousand years (ok maybe 2, but still) and I haven't even made a real attempt at reclaiming my body that was traumatized by pregnancy followed by heart failure, and I can't even remember when the last time was that I had a girls day.

Well....I'm back. After a week of no sleep (thank you toddler) I have had several mini breakdowns and realized that Heeelllooooo sister you are still in there! Time to get it together. Pull yourself together. Be the woman you want to be. Currently that woman may be trapped in a body that she doesn't recognize but that's ok. She's still there.

I started this blog about 5 years ago while I embarked on my weight loss journey. I lost 100 lbs...now 10 seems daunting..I feel like a lot of that success was due to the fact that I put myself out there. I told my story. I didn't hold anything back and 5,000 people read it. SO my goal here is to do that again, To replicate that success. Luckily I don't need to lose 100 lbs ..just like 70..and that is doable..I've done it. I will do it again, This time I have the amazing It Works products to help me on my journey but let's keep it real, a healthy diet and exercise are the only way to get it done. There is no magic pill..There IS a magic wrap, but that's not gonna lose 70 lbs..Just gonna make me look better when I do lose the weight and the skin starts looking all funky.

Oh joy..the toddler is now screaming...So until next time.

F stands for Fat...

All over you hear people talking about how it's ok to be plus sized, how you can still be beautiful and fun . I agree, you are still beautiful and fun...and fat. I am a fatty. I feel like Fat Amy in the movie Pitch Perfect gets this perfectly! She's funny, sassy, sweet, beautiful...and Fat. I gurantee you that every person you meet who is at least as fat as I am is just as tired of being fat as I am. Even if they won't admit it. And do you know who fat girls hate? Twig bitches. In my case it's not all twig bitches. It's just the ones who have never had to struggle a day in their life with true obesity and still smile smile smile during their workout and as they tell you "you can do it". One of these types of girls is on the dvd I use to work out..she giggles. GIGGLES during the workout. It drives me NUTS!! What are you giggling about?? I am in PAIN here!! I am a fat girl trying desperately to make my stomach stop jiggling when I brush my teeth and this little fitness girl is giggling. It fuels my hate fire... I may have to switch to a Jillian Michaels dvd. I bet she doesn't giggle. When I lose all this weight (and I will) I vow not to be the giggly twig when she works out. I will however give advice because I HAVE been there. I have been thin thin, medium thin, fat thin, just fat, overweight, pregnant, obese and back over the course of my lifetime. I have tried a gazillion fad diets. Some worked, some didn't. The age old "portion control" is the only one worth doing in my opinion. Eat what you want, in moderation and trying and make it healthy but don't go all NO CARB! NO MEAT! No bananas..wait..no one says that one do they? I have done a gazillion work outs. I have listened to a thousand trainers and their ideas. So far unless you are Bob Harper, Jillian Michaels, Tony Horton or my Love Tony it is going to go in one ear and out the other. Love yourself! But love yourself enough to take care of yourself too! Peace out and keep an eye out for my blogs. I don't sugar coat it!

The Cake is a Lie

 So as I continue on my weight loss journey I can't help but notice ALL the people claiming to be experts on weight loss. Be wary. Just because someone works out every day does not mean they are qualified to give you advice on losing weight. Sure, they can tell you what worked for them and you could try it, but I wouldn't encourage anyone to start a diet and fitness plan without consulting with an expert first. One of my favorite companies is Beachbody. The one flaw I see in Beachbody is that anybody can sign up to be a "Beachbody Coach". John Doe could be a Beachbody Coach and go on to social media and push people into doing a certain workout spouting "anyone can do it"..I have learned after having a heart condition that no, not anyone can do it. I can workout and I can use certain Beachbody DVD's but I can't do the intense ones yet because it's not safe..But the Beachbody Coach may not know that. More than anything I have found a lot of the coaches are just salesmen trying to push product on you. There are some really good ones out there though so don't be afraid to use one just find a good one!

I have also learned that I constantly get myself into the "The cake is a lie" state of mind. I don't see instant results and I start doubting that my hard work is doing anything. There must not be any pay off at the end. Also, not true. In order to safely lose weight it takes time. I know that. I just hate it! LOL I have been setting small goals and it keeps me going but I still have that little thing in my head that tells me I will be a marshmallow for the rest of my life.

So bottom line, be wary of fanatics, be wary of your inner crazy, and look for a support system not a salesman. I found that it was easier to be in a support group with other marshmallow carb lovers like myself. It was easier to know they were going through the same thing as myself.

Batter up...no..not the yummy batter...

I finally stepped up to the plate. May 1st I did a run through of Phase 1 and I am shocked to say that it wasn't that bad..I may be crying in the morning though. Wanna know what finally got me off my tush? Incentive! I have been following a strict budget the last few months and I decided to budget in a shopping trip for new clothes..June 1. Well, I do NOT want to be buying clothes in my current size so motivation has been born. The trick is doing the same thing tomorrow and the next day and the next until I stop feeling like a big pile of goo.

As for my diet...Eh. It could be better, but I figure one thing at a time. I have stopped drinking anything that isn't water, tea or my one coffee a day and perhaps one diet pepsi a weekend. I eat smaller portions of things and try really hard just to listen to my body. Listening to my body was what got me through today's workout. My heart raced a few times and I started to panic but I stopped and listened and as it turns out I was still breathing and not going into cardia arrest so I survived lol.

Goals...I has them

Day 2 of not working out....I had this huge plan to start working out on Monday...But those pesky excuses won over. So I made a plan to set my alarm for 5 am so I could get a 45 min work out in before work..Well it's 6:20 am and I am sitting here with my cup of coffee not working out again. I really wanted to work out this morning but my head said "No...stay in the warm covers..you've only slept 6 hours..." It takes 21 days to form a habit they say. I just wish it was day 21 already. At this pace I will be in my 21st day of NOT working out before I know it!  Maybe I need a little reminder of my goals to push me in the right direction.

Goal #1 To be able to not look like a white marshmallow peep at my wedding.

Goal #2 To be able to brush my teeth without seeing things jiggle.....

Goal #3 To be able to run and run a lot. Cardio is my best defense against zombies

Goal #4 To be able to look in the mirror and not make the "I hate my body" face

Goal #5 To prove them all wrong...

Goals established. Let's see if I can remember them this afternoon when I need to workout...

Help! I'm trapped in a fat suit!!

True story. I am now 7 months post partum and I'm pretty sure I am walking around looking like a marshmallow peep. I went to the cardiologist last week and my heart function is back to normal. Know what that means? That means I have to stop using the excuse that working out could literally kill me...literally. That's ok though because I have a ton of other excuses... Too tired, baby kept me up all night, can't work out and chase a crawling baby at the same time, I already put my pjs on..I don't wanna! I know, that's some impressive whining..Takes talent. When it's all said in done there is no excuse to be this obese.

Motivation? I am getting married in a year and I want to look fabulous. I have been watching Say Yes to the Dress and the big big girls just don't pull of the dresses well. If you are a big girl and that just offended you than you are in the wrong place. I do not sugar coat things. I accept the fact that I am overweight and I am going to do something about it. So six week challenge starts tomorrow. I signed up for the Slim in 6 challenge on facebook because I know that it works. Wish me luck! I'm sure I'll be back in a few days talking about how my legs hate me and want to cut themselves off my body before enduring another work out.

How PPCM changed my life..

What is this PPCM thing I keep talking about? Good question cause let me just tell ya, most people, including the ones who we count on to save our life, have no clue. PPCM is short for Peripartum Cardiomyopathy..and it's a pain in my butt. Let's start at the beginning of  my story.

In May I noticed a ridiculous amount of swelling in my feet and legs. Fairly common pregnancy symptom.. In June I was put on a medication for my high blood pressure and was tested several time for Pre-E..Also, fairly common in pregnancy. But I didn't have Pre-E. In July I complained several times to my OB office about shortness of breath..almost like I was having an asthma attack even though I have never had asthma in my life. I was told "maybe you are catching a little cold, maybe it's anxiety"... I've had severe anxiety in the past..I knew that was not it. In August I was told that I was dehydrated and that there was not enough fluid around the baby so I was put in the hospital to get fluids. (My legs were still really swollen..how the crap was I low on fluid? lol). In September they decided to induce me on 9/11. Bout time.

 They started the meds in the morning and by 11 am I was having serious contractions. They gave me pain meds and shortly after I was having a real hard time breathing. I am a freak about being able to breathe. I panic when I can't breathe through my nose. They put me on oxygen and decided that I must be having an allergic reaction to the pain meds. They did an epidural. It did not work. I was in severe pain and I am a complete wimp. Within the hour our sweet prince William was finally here! Yay, I survived! He's perfect! Wait..I still can't breathe...

They ship me off to the after-childbirth rooms and I got a new set of nurses. My bp was still high, my heart rate was too high and I was still ridiculously swollen. I was told again that I was most likely having anxiety attacks, that my breathing was off just because my body was recovering from having a baby..I was checked in on but no one was really taking me seriously it seemed. Honestly, a few nurses seemed downright confused by my symptoms. 2 days later they send me home. I was glad to go home and begin my new life with my new little boy but realized that night that I was not going to get to do that just yet. I couldn't sleep, my breathing was very shallow. I kept thinking it would eventually just go away. Panic attacks right?

The next morning I got up and got the baby ready (with help) and headed to his first pediatrician appointment. At this point I was gasping for breath. My son's pediatrician noticed right away..and for the first time a medical professional said "Stacy, you may have a heart problem..go to the hospital"..I thought surely not..that's crazy..They wouldn't have allowed me to go home..right?!  I had called my ob earlier that morning to tell her that I still couldn't breathe and her nurse said maybe they could call in an inhaler for me and she would have the ob call me back. By the time my ob called me back Tony had already decided I was going back to the hospital whether I liked it or not...The ob said she would meet us there.

In the ER at the same hospital where I had just been discharged the day before they hook me up to a bunch of monitors, do a chest x-ray, tell me I have a fluid on my lungs, maybe it's pneumonia, called in a cardiologist who did an echo and said I was having left ventricular heart failure. He said that my heart was only pumping 25% instead of the normal 55-65% and that's why my lungs were filling up with fluid. They admitted me. Well wait wait wait! I am a new mommy! I can't be in the hospital! Tony wasn't ready for a new baby all by himself! Hold it!  I have them call up to see if they could admit the baby back in with me...I have good insurance..chop chop..Not so much..Apparently the hospital did not have a pediatric ward...What the crap? What kind of hospital doesn't have a ped's ward? Apparently its common nowadays.. So we were in the hospital..with a new baby. Tony didn't want to leave me..we still hadn't received a real answer as to why I was there. My mom came up and got my new baby and terrified that I may die I said goodbye and let him go..

Those first few days I cried...a lot.. My cardiologist explained that it was PPCM and it was rare. About 1 in 4000 or so women get it. Great...I just won the heart lottery...lucky me. I had congestive heart failure at 30 years old.  I was the youngest person in the cardiac ward and the nurses said they had never seen a new mommy in there. (wow, good way to continue to scare the crap out me) I spent that week getting fluid drained out of me (30 lbs in one week..best diet..ever) I was put on a lot of different medications as they tried to stabilize me and get my blood pressure back down. No one had a lot of answers, one doctor was still calling it pneumonia and prescribed antibiotics..The few times I saw the cardiologist was the only time I got any answers. Not to mention I just HAD A BABY..nurses on the cardiac floor were not prepared for such a patient. They didn't have the right pads, they didn't know quite how to deal with my mood swings. They were used to old people who complained a lot and didn't want to eat the crappy foods. The last night I was there we didn't have anyone to keep the baby so he stayed the night in the room with us.. one of the nurses was sweet enough to help us out through out the night holding him, rocking him so we could get some sleep. I finally got to go home the next day with 8 prescriptions...

At home I was adjusting to my new medicine and the side effects such as blacking out and extreme exhaustion and hey in case you missed I had just had a baby...so tack on soreness and hormone roller coasters. I read everything I could find online about PPCM. I was shocked that so many other women had stories similar to mine. Misdiagnosed. Not listened to. Brushed off. Some had even died. It's 2012 people.. How are there women dying of something that can be caught early enough to offset? That if caught early enough can be treated back to full recovery?  I started thinking about all the signs I showed..and I was getting angry. Why didn't they see it? If they had could it have been treated earlier? I'm stuck with this disease and I have two little boys that need me. Time to get better!

In 3 months my heart was getting much better. Instead of 25%  I am now in the 40-45% range. My doctor lowered a lot of my dosages and took me off some pills. Thank goodness! He let me know that he expects a full recovery in time. He said that we will keep me on some pills long term as a preventative measure. He also told me it was not necessary to get my tubes tied like my ob had suggested..He said that was a bit drastic considering how quick my heart was healing. This was great news for me because while I have no plans for more children the thought that I was not allowed to frustrated and saddened me to no end.

Bottom line, PPCM is a rare condition, but it is not something that should be ignored. Women should be told about the risk of PPCM as soon as they show signs of high blood pressure and swelling. Ob's and nurses should be informed about these symptoms so that they do not misdiagnose someone or worse send them home to die. If I had not gone back to the emergency room that day I would have gone into complete heart failure and my outcome may not have been as great. 

Having PPCM changed how I see things. I am more grateful for every breath I get and I no longer see doctors as these super heroes. I never realized how badly I wanted to be healthy until my health deteriorated so quickly. I am starting 2013 with a new outlook and a plan to get my body back into tip top shape so that my heart will be strong again .

To be outstanding...Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

Well I did not blog for the last 9 months due to my pregnancy. I wasn't exactly the pillar of health I had been working at being in years past. Yes I know you can workout during pregnancy and be healthy but I was in a high risk pregnancy so when I asked if I could workout my OB answered with "consider walking your work out"... But I survived and 40 extra pounds later my super cute little boy is  here!



Seriously how cute is this baby?!?!



So now I have been given the clear to start working out again slowly but here's the kicker 3 months of bed rest have caused my muscles to pretty much give up on me. Walking is daunting, I have to take an intermission when blow drying my hair because my arms get sore..The idea of attempting a workout pretty much scares the crap out of me. I have to start somewhere. For the next few weeks that somewhere is going to be just that...blow drying my hair, walking, going back to work. As I get a grip on doing daily things I am going to start back with Slim in 6 and Shakeology. Go to  www.beachbody.com for product detail. I may even toss in some running eventually. This go around won't be easy. My heart is not back to where it should be yet thanks to this pesky little thing called PPCM.  I can't use that as an excuse though.  So cheer me on and say a prayer for anyone who catches a glimpse of me jogging =)

Wait...you mean I actually have to try and keep my resolution??

So I have seen a LOT of posts on Facebook from my friends who are resolving to lose some weight! First let me say, AWESOME! Now here's the fun part..actually doing it. Let me just say that in all my years of dieting and alllll my experience with friends and family dieting there is no way you are going to make this journey unless you WANT to. Saying you want, working out for a week or so, watching a few things here and there is nothing compared to that feeling when you just say "That's IT! I am done being fat"..I'm sure the politically correct way is to say "overweight" but don't church it up people..It's fat. I still need to lose at least 40 lbs of fat. SO here is my fun advice that I use and that others I know use and it has paid off!

1. Set a goal. A small one. Don't go into this thinking "I need to lose 50lbs" Baby steps, people. Start with 10 pounds..or if you really mean it, 20 pounds.

2. EAT! Wait wait what?? You want us to eat? Yup. If you are working out and doing some serious cardio your body is going to shut down on you if you don't get your calories in.  I use http://www.fitday.com/ to try and figure the right calories that I need to make my body keep working. If you skip meals or cut your calories to less than 1000 a day your body will go into freak out mode. Trust me.

3. Eat your carbs in the morning. I LOVE CARBS. For real. I could eat a bucket of mashed potatoes with gravy and biscuits right now.  I learned from Bob on the Biggest Loser that I can eat carbs but I should eat them in the morning or as a mid day snack. I am currently working on banishing carbs 4 hours before bed time. Wish me luck

4. If it goes in your mouth, write it down. At least until you figure out how many calories you are eating in a day. It's the only way you will know if you are eating enough or eating too much. You will be surprised when you see those numbers.

5. Be consistent. It will never work if you just diet 3 days a week or 6 days a week. If you skip your workout one day you need to make it up the next. This year I slacked off and on for a few months and put 15 lbs back on.

6. Realize that this is not going to happen overnight. Without plastic surgery you will not lose weight and keep it off if you crash diet. It doesn't take long to put that weight on but it's a pain in the rear to get it off.  If you have more than 50 lbs to lose I can say that this is a lifelong journey for you. You will have to keep eating healthy, keep working out even after you have lost the weight.  Once the weight is off those workouts won't be so bad.

7. Find someone...ANYONE to support you through this. I would never have made this journey if I didn't have my Tony right beside me every step of the way telling me that he believed in me. If you feel like you are on that island alone, send me a message and I will be on that island with you. Everyone needs someone to believe in them.

8. Water. Just drink it. A lot of it. Don't argue.

9.  Leave your excuses at the front door. If I don't come home and change right into my workout clothes I will find a million reasons not to work out. I am the queen of "But I'm tired, busy, pmsing, sick, a mommy...etc"  Those excuses will do nothing but keep you shopping in the "big girl/boy" section.

10. Reward yourself. Nothing feels better than a new pair of jeans when you have gone down a size or start putting a dollar away for every pound you lost and then spend it on whatever you want when you are done.

At the end of the day. It all comes down to you. If you are not ready to put in the effort than you are just not ready. All you can do is hope that someday you will have the will to save your own life.

What if I'm never thin?!

 This week has been an eye opener for me. Have you ever wanted to do something just to prove that you can? I have spent years and years avoiding issues. It's what I do best. I am one of the most non confrontational people I know. I let things stew inside me and eat me alive for a while until one thing just hits the wrong way and I explode. So on the outside I come across as somewhat of a butt kisser because it's easier for me to just say "I'm right on top of it, whatever you need" than to say "Wait a minute,no.." It's kind of how I have handled my lifelong journey of weight issues as well. Sure, I'm all over it! I'm working on it! Whatever you need. But I'm not. I'm not dealing with the real issue because that is painful, and who wants to deal with pain when it's so easy to avoid it?  Behind every obese person there is a reason for that obesity. Sure genetics play a factor, but genetics didn't put on all that weight...we did. Not only did we do it to ourselves but something had to have happened to trigger it. I've been doing some soul searching this week to figure out what my trigger was. The easy answer is the fact that I've never dealt with the fact that my grandfather died and I felt abandoned and alone on the inside for a long time. However, that's not it, because I have been struggling with my weight since high school. Since junior high..Since elementary school.

Digging more and more into my past and my weight issues I think I have finally solved the equation. I will NEVER be...a tiny girl. You know the girls I'm talking about..The ones who are just blessed thin.

See the first girl? That girl is the reason for my weight issues, because NO matter HOW much I work out or how much weight I lose I will NEVER look like this girl. Growing up with three sisters who did look like this girl confused me as a child, angered me as a teen, and depressed me as an adult. I never truly got it through my head that I am quite simply not built that way. And why not?! We have similar genes, why did I get the fat one? And honestly, I think my mom was a tad confused herself. It was like we both thought that I just wasn't trying hard enough to be thin. As my sweet boyfriend likes to put it, I'm a "farm girl".. I am sturdy...in other words, my body puts muscle on fast and regardless of how small I get I will always have broad shoulders and arm and leg muscles like a gymnast. Don't even get me started on my chest and face. My face is round and people say I was "blessed" with Pamela Anderson's fake boobs....I despise them but they are a part of me and unless I become a millionaire and buy myself a new body they are not going anywhere.

Bottom line, I woke up this morning and just decided that I can't be that thin girl, but I sure as heck was going to try and be as fit and thin as possible for my frame because I want to see what my body CAN look like.  Do I enjoy dieting and working out? About as much as I would enjoy being burned alive...But I will not quit, I will not give up, I will have setbacks, but I will get back on track. Impossible just became my new favorite word.

After all...tomorrow is another day

"I can't think about this now. I'll go crazy if I do. I'll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day"

One of my favorite movies of all time is Gone With the Wind. When I was younger my Papa introduced me to this wonderful movie. I had gone over to stay with him and my grandmother when I got a case of the mumps. He sat and watched the entire movie with me. I fell in love with the characters and from then on anytime I was feeling sick or down I would pop it in. There was something to be said for that silly woman and her amazing strength. Life threw so many obstacles her way and most were caused by her own doing but she overcame time and time again. My life has been a month of obstacles it seems. I can honestly say that I am beyond grateful that the month of October is over.

So here it is, a new month, a new day. I am sad because once again I have lost something that I have wanted so badly for so long. I have gone through so many emotions in the last 2 weeks that I am surprised my mind has survived. I have been angry, sad, grief stricken, annoyed, confused, hopeful, and lost. There is still a very small chance that all of this is for nothing, but I won't find out the end result until Friday. I don't need the doctor to confirm to me what I know I have already lost and I refuse to have hope for a better outcome. So this month will be a month of healing. I will pick myself back up, turn my back on the thoughts that I don't want to think, and will continue on with my life with just a memory of once again what could have been.

All this brings me to carbs. I turn to food when I am sad. I am an emotional eater. I know this and yet I let myself spiral into a 15lb weight gain in a 3 week period. I know that it will take a month or more to lose that weight and yet it went on sooo simply. The last time I was in this situation my circumstances were much worse. I had to have a very painful surgery with a painful recovery time. This time I don't have that so there is no excuse for me to continue to sit around this house and behave like my life is over. Everyone says all the things that I don't want to hear. I know they mean well, but I don't agree that "this happened for a reason, that there is a time for everything, that I will be ok and can try again"..I know all these things, I do, but my heart screams that they just don't understand..I've always been a tad dramatic according to my mother..I get it from her =)

So today I will allow myself this one last day of grief. I will go to the doctor on Friday and accept the outcome because I have already let go of the hope of a better one. I will pick myself up tomorrow and get back on my workout wagon. After all Elle in Legally Blonde said it best "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy" And I just want to be happy.

I couldn't have gotten through any of this without my Tony. I honestly know that he is the reason I have not let myself sink into that black hole of depression again. He keeps me happy and creates a tiny glimmer of hope that there are great things in our future. I also know that I am lucky to already have one amazing child who I live for and I don't want to teach him the wrong lessons. I want him to learn that tomorrow is another day and that by the grace of God he will get through life's obstacles.

Change is scary...Right?

So here in about 3 months I will be celebrating the first anniversary of my 29th birthday...ahem the big 3..0.. I am soooo not a fan of this but have decided that if I must be 30 I am at least going to do it looking good. AND HAPPY. There are so many areas of my life that I am happy with and some that I am not so happy with. For instance, I have worked at the same job for the past 11 years. Not a bad thing. But it's not my dream job. I think it took me 11 years to wake up and realize what it was I actually wanted to do. Now that I know, I am going to pursue it. Scary? oh my yes. Impossible? Nope.

I also want to be done with weight loss and just maintaining during the first year of my 30's..Ugh I hate saying 30's lol. But no seriously, I don't want to be dieting like crazy and working out like a loon every day for the rest of my life. Eat healthy? sure. Exercise? of course, but not to the extent that I am doing now. SO I have a 3 month goal to lose the last 15-20 pounds of grossness. 3 months of exercising, eating right, drinking a LOT of water, and trying to remain stress free. Stress causes weight gain. True story. I will be loading some before and after pics in about 3 weeks. I will of course keep my readers updated on my progress. All 3 of you =P  Wish me luck! This is a picture I had taken last year around this time. I plan on doing another shoot for my birthday =)

The Love 15

And no, I am not talking about tennis. When you go to college everyone jokes about the freshman 15. Well in my case it was the freshman 60...No joke. But I have seen in several relationships that once you get nice and cozy..you get a tad lazy. Myself included. When Tony first moved in I was doing my workouts, eating right, and still losing..Fast forward 7 months and I am working out a lot less, eating junk and have put on about 10 pounds. The crazy part is that I am just now realizing it. But there is hope!

You DO realize it eventually and hopefully you get back on the right path. Luckily for me, Tony has also put on a few pounds so he is ready to get back on the wagon too! Weight loss is a lifelong battle for me. I can't just ignore it. I can't eat whatever I want. I can't skip workouts, because I am one of those gals who can look at a cheesecake and put on a few pounds.

In order to stop this fat fest fast and not end up chubbily ever after I am going to try some things.

1. I need to remember that working out was important to me before and so now it needs to be more important than the netflix now =)

2. Making it a competition. Tony and I are both competitive so we push each other to our limits when working out.

3. Finding a reward that is worth working out for.

4. Exploring different healthy meals instead of pulling up the pizza hut website!

When I spiral back into a lazy lifestyle, I get hard on myself. I start getting frumpy and unhappy with my looks and it drags me into a hole of self pity fast. I HATE that Stacy. My friend Sherri lovingly calls that girl "fat Stacy" followed by "and fat Stacy was NOT a nice girl". So here I am, happy and in love and getting chunky and ready to get back on the right path.

The "Love 15" will not drag me down! I firmly believe that when you put on weight after starting a relationship you are becoming less of the person that your significant other fell in love with. Is that a little harsh? Maybe, but I know for myself that "fat Stacy" is not the same girl "somewhat skinny Stacy" is. And if I didn't love myself I can't accept someone else's love.

Yoga makes me violent...

 So I know that I promote Slim in 6 like it's God's gift to work out (cause it is)..But if it's not for you..It just isn't. There are so many different types of activities you can do to get in shape. Slim in 6 works for me. Want to know what doesn't? Yoga...Yoga makes me want to kill someone. It's not that it is overly hard or time consuming. It's the voice that comes with it..You know the soothing ahhh isn't this fun and relaxing I'm a dirty hippie voice? Maybe you don't hear it, but for me it's loud and screaming lol. Slim in 6 has a yoga part at the end of each phase that just riles me right up!

Personally, I like to run. Correction. I love to run. Why? Because it does not involve anyone but me. No trainer telling you to "push harder". No soothing "ahhhh isn't this fun"..No giggling about how great I am going to look when I am done. Just running. Simple. My boyfriend on the other hand, loves the extra push he gets from the lady on the tv saying "Just 8 more reps" when his legs are already feeling like jello. So joint work out sessions can be interesting in our house.

The point is, don't give up after just trying one work out. Try a bunch. www.beachbody.com is a great place to start. Their products come in a wide range of styles and levels and I trust the company.  I want to try a bunch of different ones but I am committed to 4 more weeks of Slim in 6 at the moment..4 more weeks of phase 3..ugh and 4 more weeks of ten minutes of yoga. But in 4 weeks I am going to be healthier, slimmer and more toned. And the yoga comes with it...as much as I hate it =)

I get by with a little help from my friends..

It has been 2 weeks today since my surgery....and I am itching to start working out again. But this time I am going to change it up. While Tony is going to start P90x, I am going to utilize the gym at my apartment complex for some serious cardio and weight training while doing yoga at home. I am sure that there are a billion other fitness guru's out there that will say there are better ways to get in shape, but I have GOT to change it up some or I am going to die of boredom with my past workouts. I am not looking to be the next Ms. Fitness (orange skin) USA..I just want to look decent..and I do look decent now I suppose, but I want to look decent enough that I can wear a bikini and not hear people making fat jokes in the background ya know?

Speaking of bikini's...I bought one. For the first time in 10 years I actually bought and wore a bikini..Did I look hot? Probably not. BUT I didn't look scary or blobbish..I look like I have a kid (thank you hips) and that I have lost a lot of weight recently (thank you loose skin)..Maybe next week I will be brave enough to post a pic...Ain't happening this week =) But I will post a pic that I am quite proud of. I went out this week with some friends and had a blast. I swear this new fun attitude all goes back to the fact that now that I am happier with my body I am happier with my life.

This blog is kind of ramblingish but the bottom line is..come Monday...it is on.. I am ready to work out and feel better and I have great people in my life that inspire me and make me feel that this long battle was not useless!

Learning from the Past

 Food is the centerpiece of our lives sometimes. Think back to your childhood. Where did the family gather? In my family it was always the kitchen. One kitchen in particular holds many memories for me.  My Grandmother's kitchen. Grandmother's kitchen always smelled like warm baked bread to me. I remember waking up in the morning and having a bowl of Post Toasties while grandmother made toast for Papa. Papa would come in whistling a hymn, usually "In the Garden" and we would all sit down and eat breakfast. 


Then come lunch time Grandmother would make Papa and me some Cream of Chicken Soup with pepper and crackers. And again we would all sit down and eat. She would have butterscotch ice cream ready for dessert. And any time anyone showed up she would offer them something to eat.  Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day that I lost the most important and influential man of my life. Papa. It's something I never have to this day gotten a grip on. However, today's blog is a reminder of how we eat now compared to 10-15 years ago.


In today's fast paced world how often can you say that your family sits down at the kitchen table and has a meal? I will be the first to tell you that I rarely do it. It's always grab and go or in front of the tv or in the car on the way to something else. This is something I want to change. I think that if our meals were planned out and we took the time to sit down and just eat, take our time, that we would see a significant change in not only our waist line, but in our life.


  I want my son to have the memories that I had of a family that enjoyed the break in the busy day to take time to spend with each other. And I want him to make good healthy food choices and that is not something he will learn if Mommy pulls in to McDonald's real fast every night instead of taking the time to cook and make sure that he is eating right. 


Today I am sitting here. Healing from my laproscoptic surgery that removed my gallbladder, thinking that now there is nothing holding me back from cooking for my family and making sure we all eat properly. It all comes down to making the time. Just like we make time to exercise and to watch our favorite tv show and so on and so on. 


Starting next week I am going to teach myself how to cook a new recipe twice a week. Something that is healthy and that stays within the guidelines of the final phase of my "lifestyle change" I will be blogging about these concoctions as I learn them on this blog. And you can bet your sweet patootie they will have carbs in them. 


RIP Papa
May 4th, 1999

What? I can't wear the Miley Cyrus line of clothes?!!

Alright ladies. I got inspired while cleaning out my closet to write a blog on weight gain/loss and clothing. Here's the deal. Unless you are ages 13-19 and have never had children you have no business trying to squeeze into a 5-7-9 pant. When you are setting weight loss goals do NOT set a ridiculous size goal. For instance, when I was in high school I was a size 7 sometimes 5. Will I ever be that size again? Nope. Will I be at the weight that I was in high school? Possibly. Then why can't  I wear those sizes? Because I am a woman. I have had a child and my twenties changed the shape of my body. When designers are making clothes in the odd size range they do not have late twenty mommy's in mind. And that is FINE. As long as you accept this you will not bounce out of your house looking like a sausage. For me, I realize that I can be a size 8 depending on who makes the jeans. In American Eagle I could be an 8 then walk my happy butt down to the GAP and be squeezing into a 10.

All jeans are not created equal..For some of you I know shopping sucks (I don't get it, but I know it) But you have to have to have try on several different types of jeans until you find the brand that fits you right. I recommend the new Levi's line because they come in all different shapes or sizes. Or go to your local Plato's closet and try on everything in the size you think you are. Have to go up a size? WHO CARES. Just focus on fit. If the size haunts you that much I suggest you go home and cut the tag out so that you don't see it and think that you're bigger than you are. When it comes to tops you can probably shop in the juniors section if you are not chesty. IF you are chesty do not try on tops until you get a bra fitting done. You will never find the right size if the twins are not in the right place. As a chesty woman, this sucks, because I will find a top that doesn't give me Hooter  girl cleavage but hangs at my waist making me look pregnant. Quite frustrating but you can find clothes that fit if you take the time to try. The cheaper the clothing the more likely it is to shrink and distort shape after being washed. So if it looked great in the store, it may not look the same after being washed one time.

Remember, it's all about FIT not size. No matter what you're weight is you can look amazing if you are wearing clothes that fit you right.  And if you are like me and in between sizes at the moment or close to your weight goal, hold off on buying clothes. So you have to walk around in some baggy clothes for a while, eh it will just inspire you to reach your goal faster so that you can buy the clothes you WANT.

So what's the lesson here? Clean out your closet. Do NOT hold onto the 10 pairs of size 5 jeans from high school. Trash them now or pass them down to a teenage niece. Do not hold onto the bigger clothes either. Donate them if you are not wearing them any longer..

And last but not least. Know that you can be beautiful. No matter what weight or size. Just take care of yourself. If you leave the house looking like something off of peopleofwalmart.com...then you are gonna feel that way.

SO...how's it going ?

I am so excited to announce that I am STILL losing weight. I have lost 5 more pounds in the last 2 weeks, and one of those weeks I could not work out due to a really bad chest cold. Slim in 6 is still my go to workout. I will be doing it for probably 5 more weeks and then moving to P90X. The weather...UGH. Cold weather does not really inspire working out. It's hard to think of the bikini season when you are in 15 degree weather. LUCKILY I live in Texas and it should be 60 by Valentines day. I took some more "before" pics for the new year. I didn't want to post them, but I logged on here and saw comments from people inspired by my blog! It inspired me to post my pic in a few weeks so I can post a 3 week after pic with it so that I can remind others and myself that it does NOT happen over night and I still have 29 pounds to go until I reach my new goal weight of 130..I am 10 pound ish from my first goal of 150 lbs. Don't give up! Working out is about 25% of the equation. EATING right is the other 75%. You have to make good food choices if you want to keep losing weight. <3

New Year, New Me

Welcome 2011! My fitness goals for this year are:

1. To lose my last 30 pounds of excess fat  
2. To do 90 days of P90x
3. To get as many people as possible to TRY Slim in 6 so that they too can realize that you CAN control your weight
4. To stop drinking Diet Coke ><
5. To run 5 miles.

Last year was a year of extreme change for me. I can't even begin to explain it. I wish I could start the year off right with exercise but due to the awesomeness of strep throat I have to wait 9 extra days before I can do my final round of Slim in 6. Once that is completed I plan on starting 90 days of P90x. Once those 90 days are up I want to train to run 5 miles.

I hope everyone makes a list of fitness goals for the new year. Just Push Play!